Thursday/Friday

Upon receiving the Peace Corps news tonight I cook.  I chop every vegetable in my house, I pressure cook some white beans, and I make a delicious pasta dish that I have no appetite for.  I clean up, tupperware my uneaten masterpiece, and sit down with my computer.  I talk to several of my closer volunteer friends, still in shock from the news.  I blog an angry blog.  And then I lay in bed until 2 or 3am, trying to quiet down the to-do lists running through my head so I can get some sleep.

I wake up at 5, wide awake.  I get up, make coffee, bring my clothes down to soak by the pila.  I tear through my laundry and some dishes all before Olga opens the tienda at 7:30am.  I clean up my house, sweep, then sit down with a paper and pen and starting drafting to-do lists.  I make four lists.  I feel a little better.  At 8:30 I start making calls.  I call Profe Erick who is distraught, particularly about the sports field project we had planned to complete in June.  I call Estela of the women's group.  I call my CTA and light a fire under his rear for the certification of Tzibal.  I walk to Naomy's store and tell her.   She tells me, "stay, and you can live in my house for free."  I seriously consider her offer.  I go to Olga's store and tell her.  "But what about Dilan?" she asks me.  "What will he do without you around to read to him and color with him?"  It's all I can take.  I go back upstairs, busy myself with silly tasks.  It's Friday so no classes today.  I have nothing to do and everything to do all at the same time.  An hour or so later Any, my scholarship student, stops by.  She looks worried.  "Naomy told me about the news.  I'm sorry you have to leave."  "Me too," I respond.  We chit chat for a while, talk about what will become of her scholarship with me gone.  Naomy stops by with her sister's baby.  We all hang out.  I'm glad to have company, and I think they can sense it.  Naomy has to leave, and Any, too.  "What are you going to do when I leave?" she asks me, again looking a bit worried.  I tell her I'm going to get back to my to-do list.  "I think it'd be better if you came to the basketball court with us. I'm going to run home but I'll stop by and pick you up on my way. So get ready!"  Unable to say no I pull on some shorts and my running shoes.  Any's back as promised, and we go play futbol on the basketball court with four or five of Any's compañeros.  And I have a lot of fun.  I forget my worries.  I snap out of the haze I've been in for the past 18 hours and I realize that though this may suck and be unfair, this is happening.  And I can either enjoy what little time I do have left here and play soccer with my students, or I can fret away my time complaining about administrative practices and other things outside of my control.

I choose to play soccer.

Now I just have to keep reminding myself day in and day out that this chapter of my life is ending for a reason (a reason a lot higher than some PC desk jockey tisk tisking over statistics).  With that in mind I'm going to pour my heart and soul into these last few months and do what I can.  After which I'll leave this village on a happy note, with the closure I need to move on to the next thing, whatever that may be.